Kerryn shares the day she realized that she needed to resign from her job, and all of the emotions and she heard God promise, “I will be with you.”
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze (Isaiah 43:1b-2).
My world, as I’d known it, was falling apart! It was only midday and I had collapsed on the principal’s office floor in pain. Shaking and in the fetal position, feeling beyond exhausted and nauseous, I was scared.
Lying on the floor, waiting for the principal, I was vividly aware that chronic fatigue syndrome had fully taken over my whole body and I needed to resign–now. Both my doctor and naturopath had warned me to stop months earlier, but typical of me, I thought I could beat it with sheer grit and determination. Laying there I wondered what to say to my principal, confessed my stubbornness to the Lord and prayed. . . lots.
Verses flooded in, including the one from Isaiah.
“. . . When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. . .
That wasn’t all that was flooding in. The school receptionist came racing in, looking very concerned to see the state I was in. She apologized and explained that things were a little chaotic. The principal was caught up in the boys bathrooms, which had flooded. A plumber had been called, meanwhile the principal was cleaning up. . . how shall I put it? Floating debris. In a whirl, the receptionist was out to answer the phone that rang, again.
What Lord? Where are you? I’m on the floor in tears, needing to give up my career and nobody is here for me!
What happened next caught me by surprise. I burst into giggles–out loud! I literally felt that the Lord and I were laughing together. Picturing our little principal cleaning up “debris” I felt the Lord was saying that He understood and that was a picture of just how yuck the day was. The lowest of the low! More laughter, between shaking and unbelievable pain.
God was with me and so very tangibly. He then made me aware of another bizarre timing. It was 19 years, to the day, since our eldest child started at the school where I was teaching. He had my attention again. While my body was screaming wildly in pain, God was comforting me. I knew He was with me and I felt His peace and His timing.
The Lord made it clear that day that He was taking me on a new journey of discovery. He was reminding me that He will be with me, no matter what I go through. His comfort was laughter amongst the tears, calm amongst the chaos, peace amongst the pain, and a deep reminder of His love for me.
Prayer: Lord, when life gets tough and no-one is there for me, please remind me to come to You. Thank You that You are always with me and know what I need most in those moments of desperation. Help me to trust You in every situation. Amen.
About the Author:
Kerryn Wright lives with her family amongst the gum trees in South Australia. She was a special education teacher prior to chronic illness. Her husband is carer for three of their family, who have chronic illnesses and disabilities. God has always guided them through life’s challenges, often in surprising ways.
How is the Lord calming you in the chaos? How does He get your attention when life is tough and tell you,”I will be with you”?
This is “Here I Am” with Shawn McDonald. The lyrics seemed applicable to moments like Kerryn’s above when we are there, just waiting to see what God will do next and surrendering it all over to Him. -Lisa
Chronic Illness Pain Daily Devotionals 
That’s a very good devotional Kerryn. Sometimes we have to let go and let God. Not always easy to do.
Thanks Karlton. 🙂 Thankfully God helped me through a really tough day. Lotsoluv Kerryn
What strength you had even in a vulnerable situation, Karryn. What a blessing to have a sense of humor at such a time. Thank you for the devotional!! And timely for us now,,,,,,Sometimes life requires leaps of faith.
Thanks Elaine. The strength I had definitely came from God. I’m glad it was timely for you. 🙂 I pray that the Lord will clearly lead you, as you step out in faith in whatever you are facing now Elaine. God bless. Lotsoluv Kerryn
At this very moment I am suffering and struggling with heightened symptoms of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which I have had for many years. I am unable to sleep, so this is only exacerbating my physical health.
PLEASE PRAY FOR ME!!! I am finding it difficult to pray to the Lord because I am so sick. I need the Lord’s supernatural intervention!!
Thank you for your encouraging words.
David,
I will be praying for you. I’ve been there, done that. Praying for peaceful sleep for you, and a peace that passes understanding.
Julie, thank you for praying for me. I am touched with your compassion and for lifting my request to the Lord. I will be praying for you, too. God bless you!
Oh David, I’m so very sorry that your struggle with CFS is heightened by little sleep! I really know what that is like & have had times, earlier on, with little to no sleep myself…..still do sometimes. That was a really tough phase for me too. I really feel for you David & am praying now! What got me through was thanking God for the most basic things that I was thankful for….water, shelter, food etc when I couldn’t sleep. This also really helped me…. I prayed on those nights for our Christian brothers & sisters, in other countries, that are being tortured for their faith with sleep deprivation. That is happening right now in the world & I know that God was helping them through my prayers. I can’t tell you how much that helped me! I pray that it may help you too. You can chat to me further in the Rest Ministries Sunroom, if that will help. Take care & thanks for writing & encouraging me. 🙂 Lotsoluv Kerryn
Kerryn,
I am moved to tears by your kind words of empathy and compassion. The Lord is so amazing to me, as He wants to lift me up from the hopelessness and despair I have been dealing with, through encouraging words of “angels” like yourself, who would take the time, energy, and effort to pray for me as I currently struggle with a very severe relapse of CFS. I am in a real battle with poor health and even praying for myself has been difficult and made worse for lack of restful sleep, mental and physical exhaustion, and other very heightened symptoms I am experiencing. I just can’t seem to focus–even writing this isn’t easy for me right now. However, your suggestion to praise and thank God for the simple, most basic things is exactly what I must and will do! Also, lifting in prayer our tortured Christian brothers and sisters in distant places, is something that will move God to protect and care for their needs, and help me take my focus off myself, which is where my mind struggle is.
I pray the Lord will help me trust Him in this situation, though I confess that’s been hard for me, for whatever reason.
Your devotional is a beautiful reminder of the love God has for us and how He meets us exactly where we are, in His perfect timing. Thank you for your prayers and the hope you have given to me. May God bless you!!!
Ps: I think i will try visiting the Rest Ministries Sunroom.
Woops….very foggy brain today & didn’t leave my previous comment as a direct reply to you David! LOL! Hope you find it. Lotsoluv Kerryn
Thank you for this devotional, Kerryn. I’ve just had to give up a job I love recently myself. It was nothing nearly as dramatic as what you went through (bless you heart!), but I had to give up a home-based business that I had worked years to build up thinking it was the “perfect” job for me. But I now have severe carpal tunnel syndrome, and cannot work on the computer like I have to in order to do it. My doctor said stay off the computer or I am looking at shots, pills, and eventually, surgery. Typing this paragraph is painful. 😦 But I know God has a plan to provide for me and my children even though I may not see it when I look at the future.
Julie thank you for your encouragement & for using your energy to write to me while in pain! I am sorry to hear that you have had to cease your dearly loved home-based business recently. There is a lot of grief that goes with that, as I well know! I pray that God will guide you clearly in what is needed to reduce the pain & for future income. I also pray that He will lead you through the grief process in the best possible way. What a great attitude & faith you have. 🙂 I was the main “bread winner” of the family & I can attest that God provides. Take care. Lotsoluv Kerryn
Thanks for sharing this Kerryn, I couldn’t help but think of how God is always there, but reveals Himself at those times when we need that so much. I’m so glad that He gave you this assurance just at the right time.
We are blessed that your “new journey” has lead to your sharing here with us!
May God continue to encourage you in all you are going through. Love, Fiona
Thanks Fiona! Yes, the Lord was so very close that day & I sooooo needed His assurance & closeness then & many times since. I would never have believed then, that I would now be writing devotionals that are published on a Christian site for people with invisible illnesses!! 🙂 I am so very thankful, especially to have met special people along the way, like you Fiona! Take care. Lotsoluv Kerryn
Thank you for sharing, again Kerryn!
The Lord uses you especially to minister to my spirit ~ I can relate to what you’ve shared (except the Principal’s “Duties” 😉 )
God’s richest blessing upon you and each one going through the river….
With Love to you in Christ~JulieLyn!
Ah Jewels! Thank you dear buddy! Hmmmm…..don’t think you would have like the Principal’s “Duties” that day!! It was an odd day! What a treat to see you here! 🙂 Take care dear friend. Am praying for you. Lotsoluv Kerryn
David, I’m thankful that you feel encouraged & that the suggestions help you. There are many, many “angels” in the RM Sunroom…..a place of understanding, compassion, encouragement & hope in Christ. I totally understand “brain fog”….. am in that most days & very “foggy” day today. I ask God to help me write to make sense. My family often don’t understand what I try to say, as it gets muddled!! LOL! Take care. God IS helping you & will continue to do so, David. 🙂 Keep asking Him for His help & guidance & He’ll show you what to do. Lotsoluv Kerryn
Blessings Kerryn!
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15: 13
David