I remember when my son was just a baby and he would cover his eyes and wait for me to ask, “Where is Joshua? Where’s the baby?” He would take his hand down from his eyes and giggle with joy.
Living each day the ups and downs of a chronic illness can grow weary and oftentimes we can feel like we are being separated from God. We may feel his presence during the evening, and go to sleep feeling like it’s all in His control. But just hours later at 3 AM we awake to the long list of worries that will not go away.
I know I’ve had moments of frustration walking through the house at three o’clock in the morning and hearing everyone sleeping peacefully. I want to sleep too! And I want my brain to turn off and be able to truly rest.
In Genesis, we are told how God had just created Adam and Eve from mere dust and yet by the third chapter He is asking “Where are you?” Did God lose them? Is He sitting on His throne in heaven looking down into the Garden of Eden wondering where they had wandered off to? No. He simply wanted to express that he cared. He was concerned about them.
Like I asked my son, “Where are you?” to make him feel loved and cared for, God wanted Adam and Eve to feel that He was pursuing them and tending to their needs.
When you’re up wandering the halls in the middle of the night, or perhaps having an MRI, or simply sitting on the couch of a dreary home, imagine God asking you, “Where are you?” Pick up the pen and answer Him truthfully. What would you tell a best friend who asks you, “Where are you?”
This is a loaded question that can ask many things of you. Where are you emotionally? Spiritually? What hurts? Where are your priorities? Your fears? Your hopes?
Sometimes your answer may simply be “I am here, Lord. I’m stuck. I am depressed. I don’t know what to do. But I am here. What you meet here?”
Prayer: Lord, thank you for being there for me and caring about me regardless of my emotional “feelings” at any time. I will always try to cling to the fact that you are always beside me, even when I don’t feel your presence.
About the Author:
Lisa is the founder of Rest Ministries and has lived with rheumatoid arthritis since 1993. She resides in San Diego, California with her husband and seven-year-old son. She recently shared some of her thoughts with the people of Rest Ministries about “where she is.”