“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).
“Are you coming next week?”
“You’ll be there won’t you?”
“You’ll make the meeting next week, right?”
Sometimes I just want to scream when someone repeatedly asks me these questions!
I don’t have a magic crystal ball and I can’t see the future. When you live with chronic illness, you don’t know how you will feel at any given time.
My family is always planning the next get together. After all, this is how the world works. In order to plan an event, you must set a day and time so people can adjust their schedules to attend. It’s a simple concept and most effective too.
It’s a simple concept . . . except for those with chronic illness.
I can plan, but it doesn’t mean my plans will happen the way I want. I can even hope but it doesn’t change reality.
I hate going back on my word. I hate letting people down. I hate it that my health has all the power and my will has so little control.
Guilt and apprehension hit me every time I say “yes, I’ll be there” or “I’ll volunteer for that” because I know full well there is a good chance I won’t be able to do what I just promised.
My frustration gets the best of me sometimes. I want to snap and say “if I feel well enough, I will” or “I will have to see how I feel”. But most times, I smile and say “I’m planning on it.”
It’s not frustration at others for asking the question, it’s the frustration that this is my life.
Proverbs 3:5 tells us “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” That’s what I have to do even when it is easier said than done.
Prayer: Lord please help me to trust you with future plans. Help me not to worry or fret about all the details. Amen.
About the author:
Karen has dealt with health issues for over 20 years. She has a passion for sharing the hope of Christ to those living with chronic illness.
Do you ever get frustrated when people don’t understand that you won’t know until that day if you will feel well enough to attend an event?