“This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in His presence: If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything. Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God” (1 John 3:19-21).
There comes a time in every war when some soldiers will come face to face with a terror they should never encounter. The soldier sharing their foxhole, laughing at a joke over chow, the one who is maybe even their commanding officer–turns the weapons onto them. No soldier should carry the added weight of an enemy in the same uniform.
If you’ve suffered invisible illness for any length of time, you have faced friendly fire from the medical profession. They are supposed to be on your side. In fact, they should be helping or even saving. Nodding in empathy seems the least they could do for one of their own.
We should be on the same side, but we’re not always.
There’s an invisible fight that goes on when you live with chronic illness, and a lot of it has to do with distrust of doctors. It’s a kind of PTSD from this war zone that we bear up under every day.
We find ourselves fighting our fears as we recognize that a doctor visit is necessary.
The stress increases our symptoms and clouds our minds. We really have to stay poised on our toes to not be taken by surprise. We sometimes sit literally naked before them, holding up our flimsy paper shield, peeking around it as we wait to see if we’re safe.
So often, we have to muster up the self-confidence needed to believe in our own selves. Difficult when the professionals are confident that we are imagining what we live with each day.
We take aim, waiting for the other shoe to drop as their condescending tone alerts us to danger. Sometimes our arms are just exhausted from the state of readiness. And so many times, the scoffing we receive robs us of our hope more ruthlessly than our illness ever could.
The world sees none of this invisible fight. Sometimes , even those close to us don’t see it. But it definitely takes a toll.
Keep fighting the good fight.
Let that be the blow that will end this war once and for all.
Don’t give away your freedom in Christ. Don’t hand over a power than belongs only to God–the power to condemn or save. None of our fellow soldiers are entitled to hold that much sway over us, no matter their rank.
Prayer: Dear Lord, will You go this us this week as we face stressful medical situations? Please help us as we press on in this invisible fight. Bring us to a team of doctors that will partner with us instead of tearing us down. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
About the author:
Shelly Hendricks is a wife and mother of 2 amazing kids. They live the good life in South Louisiana. She was a teacher and a librarian in another life. She suffers from Intracranial Hypertension and a yet-unnamed neuro degenerative disease, among a myriad of other issues mostly stemming from these two. She had brain surgery in 2012, to install a VP Shunt, and had a revision in January 2014. She depends on God for all strength and hopes to encourage others on this journey, through her blog at http://reneweddaily.com .
Are you facing the chance of friendly fire today? When you feel a physician has turned on you, how do you respond?
This is the band Unspoken singing “Good Fight.” The lyrics share how we keep fighting the good fight and how God’s love can be our anthem. Hoping it reminds you that you are not alone in your battles. -Lisa