When Illness Consumes You with Despair

despair2Do you have times when despair seems to hit hard and you are just weary of it all? Dorothea shares.

“My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life” (Psalm 119:50).

I’ve been in an unusually difficult season of pain. For the past few months, I’ve felt myself sinking into despair. It scares me, makes me feel ashamed, and causes me to seek the Lord like never before.

This pain wakes me every night. I’m not sleeping. I’m not resting. I’m not eating like I should. Things are falling through the cracks–all because of pain.

I’ve lived through the effects of lupus, endured severe migraines, accepted the possibility of infertility, faced tests to rule out or confirm the presence of cancer in my body, and been on the brink of death.

Each trial drove me closer to God and made me seek Him in every way I knew how–prayer, the Bible, church, fellowship with family and friends.

So, I’m frustrated with myself for feeling weak right now. I cry out, asking God for to keep my hope and faith in Him alive. And God continues to extend His mercy to me.

When I came across this scripture, I read it several times, letting its message sink deep into my heart. The psalmist pointed me back to the one truth I knew: life is found in God’s Word.

So, I pulled out my journal and looked over the scriptures that have always brought me comfort or peace. I read them and prayed, asking God to renew my trust (2 Cor. 12:9-10; Philippians 4:6-7; 2 Timothy 1:7; Nehemiah 8:10; Isaiah 40:28-31; Matthew 11:28-30).

And once again, God remains faithful. The physical pain is ever present, but the panic is gone.

My hope is being renewed.

Whenever challenges come into your life, I encourage you to stir up your faith in God. Allow His Word to counter the negative emotions that rob you of your peace.

Prayer: Dear Lord, I praise You for Your Word! Thank You for everything we find there–love, forgiveness, truth, hope, comfort, correction, and most of all, peace. Forgive us for allowing fear to be our first reaction. Renew our minds so that no matter what we face, the promises in Your Word will be our source of hope and faith. Amen.

About the Author:
Dorothea Love lives in Los Angeles with her husband, Norman. They are the parents of two adult children. She has lived with chronic illness and pain for over 30 years. She knows she must rely on God’s grace to strengthen her whenever she faces a challenge. She invites you to read some of her other work on her blog: http://www.dorothealove.wordpress.com.

This is Jesus Culture singing “Break Every Chain.” You may have heard this one as a worship song; it’s a beautiful reminder of what power we have through the Holy Spirit. It can help us get through the hard days. . . and those days that we wonder if we will come out alive the next morning. There is power. -Lisa