“The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable” (1 Corinthians 12:21,22).
One particular Sunday as I was sitting in church, listening to the sermon, I started to feel pretty miserable.
The sermon topic was the annual congregational meeting, and how we were all needed to be there. I however, was not planning to be there because I was saving my strength for a youth retreat the next weekend. Though I was grateful about being able to go to the retreat (my first full one since a major relapse more than a year ago), I felt more-than-a-little useless about missing that meeting.
I was still feeling pretty depressed when I got home, so I went to my bedroom and opened up my Bible. I don’t remember what it was that took me to 1st Corinthians 12, all I’m sure of is that God played a role in it.
Recently verses 21 and 22 have stood out for me as I remember a time at another youth retreat, before my relapse, when I could walk pretty well chronic illness-wise.
I’d hurt my big toe while playing a game, as I have some nerve damage in said toe. It was quite painful.
What surprised me was how a crippled toe could make walking so difficult.
Now that I think of it, I quite frequently find myself feeling this way. Almost every Sunday when the offering plate passes me by, even on the Sundays when I do have some coins to offer, I often feel like I’m just not good enough; like I should be doing more to serve God so as to not be so useless.
About a month or so ago, this came to a bit of a head and I just had to get it out. So I went over to visit Rev. Cathie at the church. During the course of our talk, she helped me to realize that although I can’t give with money in the collection plate as I’d like to, I’m still not useless because I can still give something by singing in the choir and coming to church whenever I can.
And that matters to God.
The big thing God showed me here is this: Even–or perhaps, especially–when we’re feeling weak and useless, we are really indispensable–or at least useful in one way or another. Just as was the case with my seemingly useless toe.
About the author:
Maria Moores lives in a small town in southern Manitoba (Canada) with her Mom and her cat, Baleigh. She lives with myalgic encephalomyelitis, also known as chronic fatigue syndrome. Maria frequently struggles with feelings of uselessness, but know that God has a great purpose for her life. Every bit as much as anyone else, handicapped or otherwise.
When have you found yourself feeling like a weak link?
I chose this song by Chris August, “Battle” because this feeling of being useless to God is a battle that we all seem to fight at one point or another. We can have a grasp on the temptation to not feel worthy for many years, and then it can seem to come out of nowhere all over again.
Remember that tis is a battle because our feeling of worthlessness are not from God but from the tempter. stay firm in God’s promises. -Lisa