“How precious to Me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—when I awake, I am still with you” (Psalm 139:17-18).
I’m good at fumbling and I don’t even play football. I drop the ball in conversations. Then secretly blame my husband.
He knows I struggle with cognition so he should. . .
I’m in awe of my husband’s many qualities. But mind reading isn’t one of them.
Howie hasn’t yet learned how my mind works–or doesn’t work. How can he possibly know how difficult it is for me to process information at times? Yet I expect him to know what I need without explaining what would help.
Just today he was telling me about his work. I followed along until. . . my comprehension came to a screeching halt. Confusion struck. I struggled to follow his train of thinking because he switched trains! His words sped away, leaving my mind meandering along the former track. Howie was unaware that the union of our thoughts shattered.
If he had given me a heads-up, I could have sent my synapses in the direction of the new topic. And successfully caught his ideas.
“Howie, you just changed the subject!”
“You don’t have to tell me. I know I did.”
His tension and my frustration became the ingredients of our conversation malfunction.
Obviously I’m still getting the hang of thinking difficulties. It finally dawned on me that I can let Howie know how he can help. So here are a few tips I’ll be passing along to him:
* When I’m tired and my processing time lags, speak slower.
* When you’re about to change topics give me an alert. Say, “new subject.”
* If I misunderstand an important point, please lovingly/gently let me know.
I’m grateful for spouse’s assistance. He’s not the only one who helps me think. Psalm 139:17-18 assures me that wherever I go and whatever I’m doing, God’s thinking about me. And for me!
Prayer: Dear Father, Your Word tells me, “You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar” (Psalm 139:2). I’m so grateful You know my every thought. Thank Your for loved ones who want to ease my burden when fatigue impacts my thinking. Rid me of any pride that might prevent me from asking for their help. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
About the Author:
Vicki understands special needs as a patient, parent, and professor. She has had multiple sclerosis since 1993. Her 33 year old son was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. She’s taught special education as a teacher, administrator, and adjunct professor. Through her blog, she reaches out to other mothers of children with mental illness. http://mentalillnessmom2mom.net .
Vicki wrote a picture book about bullying: Heart Eyes: Beth and the Bullies. You can find out more about that book by visiting her Heart Eyes website: http://www.hearteyes.net
Has your illness made it difficult for you to think at times? What tips could you share with loved ones?
Just as our thoughts can quickly become lost so can we easily lose track of what God wants to do with us. I chose this song by Sidewalk Prophets, “Help Me Find It” because there are so many times when we become confused about what we are supposed to be doing with our lives. We want to make a difference for God, we sign up for a commitment, and then our illness prevents it from happening. We can wonder if it is satan trying to thwart God’s plans and destroy our hope, or if it is God pulling us back and just saying, “wait.” I hope the lyrics speak to you today. -Lisa