“Then Caleb silenced the people before Moses and said, ‘We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it.’ But the men who had gone up with him said, ‘We can’t attack those people; they are stronger than we are'” (Numbers 13:32).
When I think of the certainty of the progression of my illness, it overwhelms me and threatens to send me into an anxiety attack. Every year I observe my body degenerating because of my disease.
At times, I look at my future with only negative thoughts. What does this new year hold for me? What health problems will I have to endure?
In the above portion of Scripture, Caleb and Joshua were the only two out of 12 men who were positive about their future in going to the land of Canaan, because they knew God could overcome any obstacle. But the other 10 men–their negative thoughts were what influenced the majority of the Israelites.
Negativity will only drain our energy and any happiness. If you plant a seed of negativity in your own mind, what will the harvest be? It is emotionally toxic.
When truly you submit your future to God, you won’t feed the negativity. The degree of our negativity represents our lack of submission to what God wants to accomplish in our life. When you give hold to those negative thoughts, you are denying God’s ability to take care of you, just like the Israelites in the above passage.
Although those negative thoughts may still creep up in my mind, I just do my best to not give them any substance. My positive thoughts for the year are that I will do my best to be faithful and serve Him the best I am able to. If God allows something to physically prevent me from doing some of the work I do now, I just need to trust Him, that He knows what is best for my life. He has a purpose for everything, and he will eventually bring me to Canaan.
Prayer: Dear Lord God, You alone know what lies ahead for my future. If I look toward what I can only see, it looks overwhelming. But I know, God, that You will bring me through whatever my future holds. Give me a positive spirit, so that I will not bring others down, but hold You up. Amen.
About the author:
Julie Buckley was diagnosed with mixed connective tissue disease in 1995 (scleroderma, rheumatoid arthritis, lupus and polymyositis) along with fibromyalgia. She lives in the midwest with her husband and has a grown son. She also has a blog site called “Healthy Souls,” which encourages Christians to grow stronger through their physical weakness, http://jabuckle.wordpress.com
In looking at your past, has God been faithful? Do you have any specific concerns you can turn over to Him about your future?
This is Colton Dixon singing “Scars” and it is about how, no matter what we have gone through, regardless of how much we may want to give up, we know God is still there. The lyrics are powerful and I hope it affirms to you that God can work through anything. Our scars are not something to hide or feel shameful about. We all get negative at times. But God has something so much better for us–right here on earth–if we can focus on His love for us and how He wishes to use these struggles. -Lisa