“There are times when nothing will make me happy,” shares Lisa. Do you ever have moments of refusing comfort?
“There is nothing you can say that will make me happy. I just need some time alone right now.” Have you ever said these words?
Last week sitting around on the patio with friends, we talked about marriage and communication. One man shared how he felt like regardless of what he did, his wife still didn’t communicate with him. He never knew when she was actually happy and when she wasn’t.
I said that there were times when I knew my husband just couldn’t win and I would literally tell him, “There is nothing that is going to make me happy right now. I am in a mood, so just steer clear for a bit and know it’s not you.”
There are times we wonder, “What will make me happy? Is it even possible to discover something that will make me smile while I am still in this pain?” When my body is flaring and I barely get from one room to another around the house it’s hard to get excited about the plans my family is making for the day. But when they offer to let me just rest while they head for the park, that doesn’t always make me happy either. The truth is, I want to participate, I just can’t do it at that moment. But it’s the weekend, and odds are, if by 2 o’clock I am not feeling any better, the body is not going to get any better the rest of the day.
When we live with chronic illness there will be times when, like Joseph’s dad, Jacob, we refuse any comfort that comes our way, even when it has the best of intentions and comes from those who love us. We just want to grieve. We just need to groan a bit. We need time to cry out to God.
I know that when someone is trying to make me happy, sometimes, though I am thankful for their efforts, I know I am not ready to be comforted yet. I am still somewhere else in that grief cycle of emotions.
Prayer: Lord, there will be times when there is nothing anyone can do that will make me happy. I know You understand this, and that is why You accept our cries to You no matter what kind of mood we are in. Happiness is not always the goal. . . sometimes it is intimacy with You. Help me remember how You love me even when nothing makes me happy. Amen.
About the author:
Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and she lives in San Diego with her husband and son. She is gradually learning how to balance motherhood, family, illness, and ministry, but she still knows it will be a lifetime lesson. You can see the books she has written, including, Why Can’t I Make People Understand? at the Rest Ministries shop.
Do you ever get “in a mood” where nothing seems to go your way? Have you ever acknowledged to yourself “nothing is going to make me happy” so you stop barking at others who aren’t meeting your immediate needs?
So, now that we’ve talked about how sometimes nothing can make us happy, let’s try to turn it around just a bit and see if a happy little song can help us smile today. Here is “Walking on Sunshine.” If you wanna get up and dance no one is watching (smile).