Waves of Doubt When Living with Illness

“When he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind” (James 1:6).

I recently took a trip to the beach. In years past, I loved riding a good wave in to the shore. This trip was different. I tried swimming out in the ocean, but was sucked under by a wave. I tried standing in the water, but the strength needed to maintain my balance was too difficult for me, causing my back and stomach muscles to spasm. I spent the remainder of the trip looking at the ocean rather than being in it.

Many of us may know the sensation of being pulled under and tossed by a breaking wave. It can be frightening as well as dangerous. When I doubt or question God and His faithfulness, I may experience similar feelings. Although the previous verse in this passage is a request for wisdom, I believe it can be applied to everything in my spiritual life.

There are countless times when I am worried, anxious, fearful, or discouraged about my health or circumstances. I pray for peace or guidance but then I continually dwell on my concerns, not leaving the results in God’s hands. This causes unnecessary turmoil within me, and I feel blown and tossed by the waves of my emotions and doubts. God will bring about what He has planned and give me the grace and mercy to handle whatever may come. I need to leave my requests in with Him rather than continually taking them back.

On those beach trips years ago, I not only enjoyed riding a few crests in to shore but also swimming out beyond them to float on the gentle waves. That is where I need to be now – lifted up on the peaceful swells of faith and trust, rather than dragged to shore by the crashing breakers of my doubts.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, give me the faith to totally trust You for what is happening in my life and body, for You do not speak and then not act– You do not promise and then not fulfill (Numbers 23:19). Amen.

About the Author:
Bronlynn Spindler lives in VA and is blessed to have the support and encouragement of a wonderful husband and three grown daughters. God’s grace and strength give her the ability to deal with chronic back pain, depression, headaches, and fibromyalgia. You may view her blog of devotionals at http://www.aplaceofsprings57.blogspot.com.

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