Shrinking Usefulness

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD” (Jeremiah 29:13-14 NIV)

After more than 20 years of chronic illness, it sometimes seems like my life is shrinking. At first there were things I had to give up, or couldn’t do that I had to come to terms with, and that took time. It was a long time before I could be grateful for the things I had been able to do before I got sick, and not just be upset and bitter about not being able to still do things that I had so much enjoyed.

In the years since, there have been more things I have had to stop doing, or give up as my health problems began to affect other parts of my life. Each time there is something new, it is something of a surprise to me that I need to learn the lesson all over again. I can choose to be angry and upset by another thing that stops me doing as I would want, or I can choose to be grateful for experiences and memories I have – that nothing can take away from me.

Many times as I contemplate the losses in my life, I wonder what is left or what will be left, that is of value to me and to others. Sometimes its hard to see that my life still has worth.

God says that He will always love me, in His eyes, I will always be of value. He always believes that there is worth in my life and He can find ways to use me, no matter how much it appears to me that my worth is shrinking.

Only as I see God’s view of me, can I stop the feeling of shrinking usefulness. God still values me and even if my more obvious ways of serving Him and others may diminish or cease, He will still give my life a purpose.

Fiona Burrows lives in Melbourne Australia. Even when she doesn’t understand, she knows she needs to keep trusting in the God who does.