Can I Laugh Without Guilt?
31 Jul 2011 5 Comments
in Devotionals2 Tags: Book of Genesis, chronic, Conditions and Diseases, God, Grocery store, Health, Laughter, rheumatoid arthritis
“Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, ‘I did not laugh.’ But he said, ‘Yes, you did laugh.’” Genesis 8:15)
Have you ever had a day when you felt like you could get out of bed, take a shower, eat breakfast and still make some plans for the day? For those who live with chronic illness these days may seem too far between, but when we encounter one of them it’s exciting. . . until we begin to feel guilty.
Our neighbor questions how we can be too bad off to work, and yet we are out pulling a few weeds in the front yard. At the grocery store you run into your child’s teacher who says, “Little Tommy said you’ve been ill, but you look great!” Your husband answers the phone and tells your girlfriend you decided to run to a couple of garage sales—the same girlfriend you cancelled lunch plans with two days arlier because you could hardly get out of bed.
We all need more laughs. We all need more joy in our lives; and yet sometimes when it comes, we are too afraid to laugh. Like Sarah we say, “I did not laugh. I did not enjoy that too much. I did not have a moment of feeling good, because that will cause skepticism among those around me.” When we feel good, we downplay it so that it will even out with all the times we say we are “fine” when we aren’t.
Marilyn Meberg writes, “We can reinsert humor and joy into our lives even though factors that deplete us of cheer can’t be changed. Some of the ‘stuff’ of life is mundane and draining while other parts of life are enormous and hard. Whatever the size of the difficulty, cheer is waiting to be discovered—sometimes unexpectedly, like a chocolate chip in the raisin bran.”
I’ve denied fun in my life. I understand. But yet, I encourage you to throw caution to the wind. Laugh! “Sarah said, “God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me,” (Genesis 21:6). You don’t owe anyone an explanation for you ability to pull a weed or two.
We don’t have to understand why we feel decent some days and awful others. When someone says, “I thought you weren’t doing so well, but you look great,” and you feel called to respond, just say, “Isn’t it incredible? I can hardly believe that I am out and about like this. I decided to enjoy it while I could!” Invite everyone to laugh with you.
About the Author:
Lisa Copen lives with fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis. She is gradually learning the process of only relying on what God thinks, and not other people.
Note: We are repeating some of our favorite devotionals this week from past years. This was originally written by Lisa in 2001.
You can now read this on your Kindle. Find out more at http://TodaysDevotionOnKindle.com
When have you experienced someone doubting the seriousness because you were “caught” doing something fun? What was your reaction?
Jul 31, 2011 @ 14:04:19
Those who know you and care for you will rejoice in the victories, be they pulling weeds or going to garage sales. The others don’t count.
Jul 31, 2011 @ 14:51:30
This devotional really resonated with me. Sadly, it has been my husband who is the one who doubts me and is skeptical. He can’t understand why I can’t visit his family every weekend (a very stressful event), work an outside job or travel, yet I can do a little work around my small garden each day and I can swim laps a couple days per week. The truth is, many days I CAN’T do these things. He has seen me bedbound and in horrible pain and fatigue, yet still doesn’t understand. He thinks I can “turn it off and on” as I choose. While it IS true that I choose to spend our limited strength and energy and good days on things that make us happy and peaceful rather than stressed and exhausted, it is not true that I am “faking it” just to get out of doing things I don’t want. I would love to be able to travel again, and it certainly would make things easier for me to have a job (although, since I homeschool my children, I would counter that I DO have a job!).
Unfortunately, I guess my response has been anger, fear, resentment, and discouragement. The person who should love me and understand me the most does not. It is but one of many problems in our marriage, and one of the reasons we are separated right now. Being separate has allowed me to learn to respect myself a little more and to learn to lean on the Lord and only care about what He thinks. I’ve stopped explaining myself so much to my husband, and just go about what I can do when I can do it. What he thinks is his problem, and between him and the Lord.
It is still painful though.
Aug 03, 2011 @ 08:57:18
Oh, Julie, my heart goes out to you. thank you for sharing your heart. I can imagine that a separation was a difficult decision for you, but I am glad you are able to use the time to take care of yourself and get to know your needs a bit more. I’ve found–as you have–we cannot change other people. And sometimes our spouses can be the most difficult person to try to understand our perspective. If he would be open at all to seeing a counselor who understands the depths of illness and how it impacts a marriage, that may be the first step. Praying that God will give you strength for the future whatever it may hold.
Aug 13, 2011 @ 22:57:33
Oh do I understand Sara’s denial of her lalughter!! The chronic illnesses I have keep me, at times, from getting out of bed, or from doing errands, meeting friends or even going to church! But, when I do get to do something like be outside of my home and go to church I hear the “you look wonderful” with the inflection that I do all the time and have just been hiding out so to speak, being lazy, etc. I have gotten so I answer “It’s amazing what make-up can do!” and let it go but it still hurts. People don’t, for the most part, understand the physical and emotional pain that we with chronic illnesses go through, Out illnesses keep us on the oustside looking in and people’s cruel words when we do feel better keep us on the outside also. Others seem to think we can turn it on and off or that we are faking it as Julie said her husband felt. You have my sympathy and prayers, Julie, I have been where you are. My present partner is wonderful about caring and accepting what is wrong with me but my former husband, couldn’t. He just would not accept what physical problems I have and most of them were his fault . . . . .do to an unfortunate accident when he was a car mechanic. . . . . .he even was there when the doctor diagnosed me!! But that is irrerevalant now. I thank God for the man who is in my life now (a man He brought to me) and for the care and help he gives to me. It is hard for me as I imagine it is for others to face people we haven’t seen for awhile because we know, even if they don’t say it that they are looking at us with questions in their eyes. . . . .questions abut the truth of what is wrong with us. . . .why can’t the doctors “fix” us and on and on. I know I really need to hold onto my faith and the love of our Lord to keep me from becoming bitter and from retreating even further into myself. . . . .like a turtle. (I have an ifinity for these little and big turtles. . . somedays and times I wish I could just pull my head into my shell and hid from the world!!) I could probably go on and on but I won’t. . . . . . .to all those who feel abandoned I understand and beg you not to give up. . . . there are good people out there who will understand and will be kind. . . . .you just have to be patient and keep looking and praying for God to send them to you. I am not always “up”, but, I am always reaching out to our Lord for His help to live each day. God Bless you all, You are in my prayers
Aug 15, 2011 @ 18:25:05
Thank you, Lisa.
The phrase, “You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your ability to pull a weed or two” really resonated with me. I’ll have to remember this when I start to feel guilty.
Big hugs,
Daphne