Posted by: Rest Ministries | November 7, 2009

Good Grief

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)

A fresh layer of fluffy snow covered the ground, the driveway had been plowed and Kathy was still at school. That meant the Escape was gone and the time was right to cleanse the garage floor of snow and those dirty chunks of who-knows-what that fall from wheel wells and make a mess if left unattended. So I squeezed into my twenty year old faded and torn snowmobile suit and stepped into the garage.

In early 2005, after several weeks of testing, several Mayo clinic neurologists agreed that I had spinocerebellar ataxia of the degenerative type. The word “ataxia” means “absence or loss of order.” Based on testing and my past history, they assured me the degeneration would be very slow.

Planting both feet firmly on the floor to secure my balance, I pushed the broom forward. At the same time, the ataxia decided a little “loss of order” was in order. Gazing up at the rafters, I took a quick inventory to see if anything was bruised or broken. Finding nothing, I explained to the Lord how much I did not appreciate what was going on.

In the midst of my upset, I recalled a line from the Christmas letter I received from Rosalee, a member of our writers group. She wrote: “Just because the stage is getting smaller, doesn’t mean the play has been cancelled.”

I’d be less than honest if I said that I’m happy to see my stage shrink. Each time loss comes calling I fuss, grumble, groan and complain. Each time my Father listens to my complaints, smiles, reminds me of His everlasting love and assures me my part of His show will never be cancelled.

Nor will yours, dear believer.

Prayer: Lord, sometimes it is easy to lose sight of Your plan and our part in it. We get confused when things change. Thankfully, we know, You never do. Amen.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ken Miller is a legally blind, cancer survivor with spinocerebellar ataxia. He lives in northern Minnesota with his wife Kathy. He contributes to two church newsletters and has published the first part of his memoir; Out of the Fishbowl. He can be reached at www.kenmillerbooks.com


Responses

  1. Ken,
    Your devotional spoke to my heart. It reminded me that no matter what we give up for our illnesses, God still has a stage, a plan, for our lives. Very well put! Dana

  2. Hello Ken,

    I loved reading your words today. You paint a picture and bring me right to your part of the stage – today, that garage and the snow and your snowmobile suit and your faith.

    You help me look at my part of the stage with new eyes and remind me of God’s script for my life. It is perfectly written and I can trust His direction if I let the spotlight of His love remain steady upon me.

    You gave me so much today to help me feel encouraged. Thank you, Ken.

    Bless you!
    Lynn

  3. Dear Ken,

    I say “Amen” to the first paragraph of Lynn’s comment!

    The quote about the stage shrinking is so good. I’ll try to remember it. That and your whole piece fit Jer. 29:11 like a glove.

    The way you spoke of our Father’s compassion and mercy in the midst of your complaining show his heart. It cause me to smile too and to be encouraged.

    Thanks, Ken, for sharing this.

    Beth

  4. let’s see…

    dizzy man in bedraggled, and too tight, (sigh) snowmobile suit on a smaller stage in a new role yet with humor and devotion to our Great God.

    good plan dh :) just being yourself sounds like to me:)

    morelater :)

  5. Dude – thank you for your humor. thank you for your honesty! just another way God has brought this verse up. i’m waiting for the skywriter – that would be new. still, so nice to know i’m not the only person voicing to God those (unfortunately frequent) moments when i’m not sure i like his plan so much. LOL! thank God he’s God.


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